Good Humor: You Might Be a Canal Rat if… - The Fisherman

Good Humor: You Might Be a Canal Rat if…

Cape Cod Canal
The Cape Cod Canal is a magical place filled with a special breed of surfcasters. (Photo courtesy of John Doble)

The Cape Cod Canal is a magical place filled with a special breed of surfcasters.

The legendary Cape Cod Canal has long been famous for striped bass fishing as generations of surfcasters have wet a line for well over a century along its rocky shore. A special breed of angler fishes these tides in a unique location featuring swift current in deep water within casting distance from shore, thus you might be a Canal Rat if:

You check the tide tables before confirming an RSVP for a summertime family cookout.

The girl at the Dunkin Donuts drive thru near Red Top has your order memorized.

You don’t know your own blood pressure, but you do know the Canal spots that get the most pressure.

You schedule all physician and dental appointments for the winter months.

You can carry on a conversation with a buddy safely as you descend down along the rip-rap slippery rocks to the water.

You can’t remember your social security number, but you do know what time Maco’s opens in the morning.

You know all the words to the chants recited by the Mass Maritime cadets running behind you on the service road.

Somehow you have convinced your wife that the best place in America to buy a house is right on the Cape Cod Canal.

Vacationers at the Bourne Scenic Park see you so often that they invite you in for breakfast.

You yearn to listen for the cry of the proud rooster in the west end announcing sun-up.

If somebody parks in your usual spot at the Herring Run other anglers wonder where you are.

Your wife accepts that the left side of the freezer is reserved for frozen bait.

New bridge construction plans bring joy to those sick of traffic, but your first thoughts are of potential fishing disruption.

Your 3-year-old grandson ringing a bell makes you to think of Bell Road.

Your family ran out of little wire hooks to hang Christmas tree ornaments, but you saved the day by handing out VMCs.

Your vehicle is so full of fishing gear that there is no room for any passengers.

Most family photos show you wearing a headlamp.

You go to bed on winter nights and close your eyes thinking about the first cast of spring.

The Center for Disease Control reports an outbreak of mono, but you think it’s some kind of a problem with fishing line.

The noise from a screaming drag with a heavy fish on the line sounds better to you than just about anything.

You don’t know your own blood type, but you do know when the tide will be turning east.

Math wasn’t your best subject in school, but you are sure of the gear ratio and line retrieve rate for your spinning reel.

A presidential candidate hailed as a strong leader makes you think of 50-pound fluorocarbon.

Meeting a new guy named Leo causes you to think of bacon and eggs.

Breaking news on TV is never as good as breaking fish on the Ditch.

Your surfcasting rod is suspended on the inside of your vehicle to protect the guides when you hit a bump in the road.

Your idea of a cow has nothing to do with a farm.

You keep forgetting your zip code, but you never forget to bring your tape measure.

The song “Will the Circle be Unbroken” conjures up images of circle hooks.

The sight of your 4-year-old granddaughter’s hair in a braid reminds you to buy some 40-pound test.

You wonder why the heavy rain and 60 MPH wind is making other guys give up, leave their fishing spots and go home.

Sunglasses are stored in your surf bag for later because you just don’t need them at 2AM.

Canal Bait & Tackle is your home away from home.

Your car was stolen, but you were more upset that there was a new bag of Hurley Canal Killers sitting on the front seat.

You have already asked your wife to have your cremated remains relinquished into the Canal on a west tide so that the current will bring you into Buzzards Bay to greet the migrating stripers in spring.